pensées

i have always believed that if you do good, then good things will happen to you. that’s that. no if’s, no buts. your wishes, dreams and hopes will be considered by the universe and somehow, you will end up getting what you hoped for and most of the time, more than what you’ve hoped for.

sadly, i currently think that is too idealistic of me to conclude. why? well, let’s just say that the formula doesn’t seem to work now and sadly it has to be one of the things that i value the most.

MOFO, life is not fair.

i used to think that if i don’t hurt someone else, then there is no way that destiny will allow me to get hurt because of some cosmic reasoning (or should i call it karma) that i used to believe exists.  now i just think that whatever happens to your life is meant to happen no matter how good or bad of a person you are… this is very painful for me to internalize because the decisions i made in my life has always been based on this principle.  now moving forward, i am torn between believing that my principle was wrong and that i have no power whatsoever with my destiny…

any thoughts? i am so messed up right now…