pensées

My mother and sister are here with me for the holidays. Their first week was spent in exploring New York and the unplanned 3 day lay-over in Chicago. I can’t deny this has been one of the best times we have ever spent as my hearts flows with the thought that for the longest time they were the ones spending for me, now its my turn. There is only one thing missing though… there is nothing in the world that I would not give just so my father was with them with they when landed in LAX.  I would have loved to hug him until he could not breathe anymore… and look into his eyes that look exactly like mine and tell him "oh, bili na tayo ng bally mo!"

I miss you so much papa… nandito na sila mama at ate… si mama maraming patawa na I’m sure ikakagalit mo na naman kung nandito ka… I could just imagine your face… hehee… kamusta ka na dyan? Nasa langit ka na ba o nasa purgatoryo ka pa rin? Nga pala, now I know that you are still watching over me… thank you for being in my dream nung super sama ng loob ko lately lang… I was crying when I started telling Terry about the dream… basta I miss you so much and I am still looking forward to the day I die because I know it will be your face I will see first when I open my eyes in the after life…

I love you papa, Merry Christmas and be with me in 2007… forever kung pwede… until I am with you again…

how do i define life as its finest? this is what i am longing for right now…

I would give anything to be laying down on the beach with pristine white sand contouring to my body with a "turquoise blue waters view" and the sound of the waves that gives me peace… the sun shines on my back, no top just a string bikini… siping my favorite melon shake (without milk) and a perfectly knowing masseuse massaging my body…

I just want to get away from it all…

God PLEASE take me to the beach right now…

… peace of mind

… doubts to fade

… heart to believe

… fear to subside

… star to fall then placed on my hand

… hug from the one i love…