pensées

There was a point in my life when i thought that being employed with smga was one of the worst things that ever happened to my career. 

Wrong move… have to get out fast…

Good thing i didn’t… for i met the best boss one could ever hope to have… ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Raymund Mungkal.

I know that a lot of people would disagree with me because a LOT of these crazy people envy you. Damn if they are my friends but you are the best for me… to hell with whatever anyone else says. You are the kind of boss that challenges a person to be better than what she really is. You teach… you explain… you listen…  you are my mentor. I seriously miss all the things we talk about and how you drive me to be the best. I wish i can just work for you my whole life… i won’t have a problem with that! I miss our hourSSSS of discussions about reports, music, chismis (hehe… what is smga without that!), failures, pains and angst…

i remember the hellish time of my life in smga and i asked to speak with you, i looked at you and could not say anything… but you knew what i was going to say even before my tears fell… you have no idea how grateful i am that God gave me a chance to work with you… i think you are the best there is… i still have to find another boss that will make me excited about completing a report… haha… yah right… you made me work so hard for the compliance reports i was so excited to finish them…

I remember the time when everybody was mad at me for being late (deng people not minding their own business)… they accuse you of being easy on me because you have the same work ethics (hahaha) and that you were treating me as a favorite… and how you said that they don’t know how late i work (until 1-2 am) while they are on time but go home at exactly 4:30 pm… how you said you were so tempted to tell them, "erna can make a report better than you (higher ranking seniors than me) even if she comes in late…" and we would both just laugh at them because at the end of the day, our reports are always better than everyone else’s… hehhee…

I miss you RSM. Receiving your birthday txt made me remember the times we shared and i just want to dedicate this blog to you. You are the best boss i ever had… and I am so thankful that we still are good friends until now… and I know it will be for all time.

I can’t wait to go home and jam with you in your new music room (yippee!!!)… I can’t wait for you to play our favorite songs in guitar/piano (yep! he is good in playing both instruments) with that 1000 song book we never seem to finish because we play the same songs over and over ( hehe…) and i miss SO BAD singing along to your tunes… most of all, I just miss talking with you about anything and everything good friends just talk about nonchalantly…

I will see you soon RSM! 

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

-Pablo Neruda

what does one do to accept

a dream you thought you had is now dead

how does one stop the tears from falling

when you remember the promises you heard but is now broken…

i don’t even want to reminisce and feel happy for awhile

for I thought I found forever in your smile

my tears would just fall every time I try to remember

baby, I thought you would leave me never…

no one felt more right than you

but now I have to accept that it wasn’t true

oh Lord please hold my heart

because for the nth time its now falling apart…

no one falls in love by choice…

          it is by chance.

no one stays in love by chance…

             it is by work.

no one falls out of love by chance…

                 it is by choice. 

October 4, 2006, 12:56 am…  i have decided that i will move on. no more waiting… no more hoping… just moving away from something that is no longer there…

ok… back to regular programming…